Grace

I usually hate Wednesday afternoons. That's when both kids have visits with their biological parents, and it seems that it just bursts my bubble and I'm reminded that these beautiful children are not mine. I've been praying for God to give me a heart for these parents instead of animosity for what they have done to these kids. Today when I spoke to T's parents after the visit, I felt my heart change slightly toward them. I realized that if she is truly going to go home with them one day, then I want them to know as much as possible about her right now. So we actually had a good conversation. I'm still praying for that same grace toward J's mom. She is a lot less invested in him and seems to just focus on proving that she is a "good mom." For whatever this information is worth, I met J's new social worker today. After the 30 day hearing, when they take kids into custody, they transfer them to the appropriate "unit" based on where the case is headed. The social worker kept commenting that she hasn't received a kid so young on her unit before, that it usually takes a few months for that to happen, so I finally asked her what unit she works in. She told me that it's the permanency unit, where kids go who need a permanent place to go other than their home. That's good news in a sense, but I'm still guarded.

Life

So it's been awhile since I've posted a "blog" and I might have a lot to say. Life continues to be quite a roller coaster in our household. Let's start with a kid update.

T had a hearing last Friday and the judge approved the case plan for her parents. Her parents are making slow progress and have supervised visits with her once a week. According to the latest update given to us, there won't be any changes until the next hearing in 6 months, other than a possible change in the length of the visits or from supervised to unsupervised.

J also had a hearing last week. It was his 30 day hearing where they either return him home or take him into custody and work with mom on her case plan. The judge ruled that he is not ready to return home, so we start on the journey with him where we just wait to see how much progress mom is going to make. She has a lot of things stacked against her right now, and very little support in her life.

So in terms of kids, our little family will most likely remain intact for another 6 months. Oh, except for our new addition . . . . JUST KIDDING! We're not THAT crazy!

Some of you may know that lately we have struggled financially. Miles lost his job with Yahoo last year. After trying unsuccessfully to find a local job, we decided to open the studio. Well, someone should have told us that it was a bad idea to start a business in the middle of winter in North Idaho! So the studio is temporarily closed. Well, in the last few months, more bills were coming in than money and things started to look very scary. We have prayed and prayed and really wanted to make decisions that were in line with God's will for us, and that would allow us to continue being very involved with youth ministry. Miles is a great thinker and creative and savvy business person, and a few months ago started working on franchising the aerial photography business he started last spring. After months of working, hoping, praying, working some more and praying a lot more, he sold his first system today! And he is right on the verge of closing 2-3 more deals in other cities around the country. He was also offered work with the former owner of Music Match (which was bought out by Yahoo) to telecommute for their San Diego office. So after no work for months, he now has more work than he knows what to do with. It will still take a few weeks to see how this is going to play out -- telecommute only, aerial photography only, or a combination of the two -- but we can say that GOD IS FAITHFUL. We are so close to losing our home it's not even funny, and yet God has provided for us just in the nick of time. Isn't that so like Him? And in the midst of all of this, we have learned more about faith, and have drawn closer to each other in our marriage. Our values and priorities have certainly become crystal clear. Miles will continue to do portrait and commercial work as "Miles T Photography" and we hope to open the studio up again soon. He is going to get out of the wedding business because it doesn't allow him the creativity he desires. And did I mention that there are some crazy brides out there?

SO . . . tomorrow Miles leaves for Seattle to train someone on the aerial photography system and then goes straight to Jr. High winter retreat for the weekend. That equals me + 2 kids alone for 5 days = insanity!! BUT . . . never fear, I have wonderful helpers coming to save the day. My friend Rychelle (my wonderful new kindred spirit and co-leader of small group) is spending one night, my wonderful mother-in-law is spending one night, and one of the high school girls is spending the weekend. We are so blessed with a network of support. My small group girls, who are all juniors in H.S., are always willing to come help me with whatever needs to be done.

Did I mention that God is faithful? Alrighty, I'm done rambling. Both kids are sleeping, but I have several loads of laundry, a sink full of dishes and multiple other things that are calling my name. Thank you everyone who prayed for us or sent us money to help cover our bills. We love you!!

Snowboarding

So I had my first attempt at snowboarding while we were at the H.S. winter retreat last weekend. I spent a LOT of time on my backside in the snow. I would pretty much get up (which was a feat in and of itself), go down the hill about 15 feet, crash (sometimes pretty hard), flip over, get up, go down the hill, crash, . . . . Needless to say my old, never gets exercised body was pretty sore for the next 2 days. But I had a good time. Miles was out on the hill with me the whole time, along with a few of my H.S. girls and Rychelle, who leads small group with me. It was Rychelle's first time out too, so we crashed a lot together. This is a pic of the 2 of us at the end of the day.

We had a great time at the retreat. I had some good talks with some of the girls, and of course laughed my head off at times. I sure missed the little ones though! I talked to Jordyn's social worker today and she said she was going to call me today with the "latest developments", whatever that means. I'll post a blog tomorrow once I find out what's going on.

It's quiet

It's 12:55 in the afternoon. Babies are both taking naps, the dog is in her kennel and Miles is working down in his office. And it's QUIET. I should be cleaning the house, getting ready for the breakout session I'm leading for the high school winter retreat this weekend, preparing our tax information, etc., etc., etc. But. . . . I'm going to sit down for a few minutes without guilt and write a blog. Everybody told me that when you become a mom your life and your time are not your own. Now I get it. I REALLY get it. But what's funny is that I don't really mind. I always considered myself a very selfish person, especially when it comes to my time. I like my "me" time and that is in short supply recently. But I think I like my new role better. Although I am looking forward to the winter retreat this weekend. I'll get to catch up on my sleep. Never thought I'd say that I'm looking forward to a H.S. youth group trip to catch up on sleep! I'm also looking forward to having uninterrupted time with my h.s. girls. Time to talk, or to listen really, without having to feed a baby, change a diaper, or any other number of tasks. I love those girls so much that it overwhelms me sometimes. A few of them are really like daughters to Miles & I and we have spent many a night sitting up talking about how we can help them, or just praying for them. They bring so much joy to my life and I would sacrifice just about anything for them.

Well it's 1:01 and I think I'm done rambling so it's off to clean the house in preparation for small group tonight.