Trials

It seems that this week so many people in my life are being hit hard by trials . . . loss of relationships, miscarriages, sickness, depression and bad verdicts in court. I was talking to one girl yesterday, one of my "girls" from small group who has been struggling in her faith recently and is one of the ones being slammed by trial. Her question to me was: "Why is God doing this?" I tried to assure her that God is not doing this to her but stuff like this happens because we live in a broken world filled with sadness and sickness. In fact, I told her, God grieves right alongside us and longs to give her comfort. This was not what she wanted to hear because she just wanted someone or something to blame.

This got me to thinking. I wonder why our world often rejects the idea of God, refuses to acknowledge Him as the Lord and Saviour of their lives, yet when faced with tragedy or trial are so quick to blame God. I think this baffles me because I don't know what I would do in my own life if I didn't have God as THE source of support, comfort and healing. In the past 5 years as Miles & I have been struggling with infertility, I've had people ask if we get angry at God. "No," is my answer. I don't get angry at God. I question Him, not because I think He is to blame, but because in the midst of living in a broken world I often wonder what His plan is for me and in our particular situation, if we will ever be parents. I couldn't travel this journey without God. I wouldn't know where to turn. And my heart breaks for those who choose to go through trials in their own strength because I know that is not necessary. God LONGS to walk alongside and give us a peace and a joy we cannot find nor know without Him.

Lately I've been listening to a lot of the interviews with Steven Curtis Chapman and his family. For those of you living in a cave, the Chapman family (Christian recording artist) recently lost their 5-year old daughter in a terrible tragedy in the driveway of the family's home. The Chapmans have been on Good Morning America, Focus on the Family, People magazine, Larry King Live, etc. and have been sharing their story of loss, grief, love and hope. It's those last 2 that a lot of people are missing. Mary Beth Chapman, Steven's wife, shared that when this happened to their family, it was like falling flat on their faces because it was such an unexpected and tragic event. And they didn't land on their feet when they fell; they fell flat on their faces. But what they learned was that when they fell, the foundation they had been building their lives on was secure. Steven has a song called "Yours" on his new album. After their daughter's death, he penned a new verse for the song. This song has come to speak to me very much in the last few weeks.

Last verse of Yours (and chorus):
I’ve walked the valley of death’s shadow
So deep and dark that I could barely breathe
I’ve had to let go of more than I could bear
And questioned everything that I believe
But still even here
in this great darkness
A comfort and hope come breaking through
As I can say in life or death
God we belong to you.

And it’s all Yours God, Yours God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky to the depths of the ocean floor
And it’s all Yours God, Yours God
Everything is Yours
All the greatness and power, the glory and splendor and majesty
Everything is Yours
It’s all Yours

Camping

Miles and I just got back from a weekend camping trip. I think this trip has officially clinched the top spot as my favorite camping trip ever. We had originally planned to camp Thursday-Sunday, and then spend a night at our favorite Bed & Breakfast on Sunday night. We drove 2 hours to our chosen camping spot at Priest Lake, and soon learned that the information we had received about not being able to reserve campsites was wrong information. The only way to get a spot in these campgrounds was to reserve sites. It's a beautiful lake, and we hope to camp there one day, but it wasn't to be for this weekend. So with dusk coming, and not having any idea where we wanted to set up camp for the weekend, we headed for the bed and breakfast. Thankfully she had a room available that night. We spent the night there and then headed north the next morning.




We drove about 5 miles into Montana, up in the northernmost corner of the state, just south of Canada. We found a BEAUTIFUL spot by the Yaak River and I think we landed the most beautiful site in the entire campground. We camped there Friday thru Monday, and it was wonderful.



We spend a lot of time relaxing and just enjoying each other's company. I feel so lucky that I have a husband who also happens to be the person I'd most like to spend time with. We always have a lot of fun together. We spent one day exploring the area nearby, and hiked to Kootenai Falls and also crossed a "swinging bridge" that hung precariously over the raging river. Needless to say, that walk across the bridge wasn't my favorite thing in the world! But I did it because, after all, I believe you should do one thing every day that scares you!!

Miles went fishing a few times and caught some good fish. I don't really like anything having to do with fish, but I agreed to try it after he prepared his first catch. I actually liked it. We also brought 2 fish home to eat this week. While Miles was fishing in the afternoons, I spent time in the hammock (thanks Deb & Darin!) reading my book, journaling and listening to worship music. Overall, it was a great weekend with lots of time with my husband and lots of time with God. I needed both of those desperately.

Our new pet

Yesterday a deer came into our backyard and starting snacking on our foliage. He came over under our bedroom window and was munching on the plants there. Then he just laid down in the shade and napped for about 1/2 hour. He was so cute. We've declared him our new pet and are waiting for him to return!