Adjustments

I think everyone in our household is getting used to each other, and hopefully this week is going to be calmer than last. Last Friday, in addition to picking up Gabriella (the 3 year old) on Friday, the 14-year old we had staying with us for 2 weeks was returned to her grandma's care. It was a very hectic and chaotic day to say the least, with one foster child moving in and the other one moving out. Gabby has been adjusting pretty well. I think she still has some confusion as to who we are and some anxiety over whether or not she is truly here to stay. We have tried to explain things to her at her level of understanding, but until the issue with her grandma is resolved, we can't yet promise her that she will be with us forever. We have told her that we're her "for now" parents and that she is safe here. Fortunately I do have a book about adoption that tells the story of a child who goes from his "first mom and dad" to his foster parents to his adoptive parents. So I've read this to her and we've talked about who all these people are in her life. We have let her set the pace in terms of what she calls us. Sometimes I'm "Brenda" and sometimes I'm "mommy." Miles has somehow morphed into "Daddy Miles." She still struggles with not being in the same room as us, and if we go into another room of the house she will have to constantly check in with us, if not verbally then she will physically come find us. If we don't respond or if she can't see us, she bursts into tears. There have also been some sleep difficulties, with her not sleeping as well as she should. We're hoping this will all come in time. Yesterday morning she was up at 4:30a.m. and I had to convince her that it was still the middle of the night and to go back to bed! But I'm not sure if she ever fell back to sleep.

On top of all of these adjustments, we also had a friend of the family (one of my small group girls) move in with us -- Tabatha. Tabatha lived with us for a while when she was 15. She is 18 now and a freshman in college. She hit a rough patch in her life and doesn't have a very supportive family, so Miles & I stepped in to support her. We are trying to help her get on her feet and just love on her. Miles is teaching her how to become a barista. It has actually been great to have her back home with us because she's just a part of the family anyway. And Gabby loves having her "big sister" here.